GRANDMA ALWAYS SAID..........

My Grandmother always said: "If you can't say anything good , don't say anything at all!"


Hence, I have been quiet for a month!

Sometimes life builds up to a point where you think that you just might crack, physically, emotionally and worst of all verbally.

The weight of the world sits firmly on your shoulders and it feels like an almost impossible task to shift it. I got to the point where everything that I wanted to say (but didn't) sounded like a complaint, judgement or just plain rude. So I have kept my mouth shut.

'But holding things in is no good for you' I hear you say. 'You need to let it out, clear the air, build a bridge, get over it, etc, etc.'

And this is true, you do need to deal with it, although telling people to 'sod off' probably won't do it.

Unburden yourself.
Did anyone actually ask you to solve all their problems? Or carry the weight of their grief? To be all things to all people? It is not only incredibly exhausting, IT JUST ISN'T POSSIBLE.

My guess would be NO....., no-one asked you to be all these things. In fact you may even be selling them short in thinking that they can't find the answer themselves. And when we really think about it, that is just plain insulting ! Isn't it? Chances are you put all these expectations on yourself. AM I RIGHT? I know I sure have loaded myself up good and proper. I am a mother, that's what mothers all over the world do!

So why do we do overload ourselves time and time again?
Maybe we like to be needed? It feels good to be helpful. It makes us feel better about ourselves.... in the short term at least.
But it certainly doesn't lead to life balance, and we more often than not end up frustrated and overwhelmed. Instead of that lovely Yin and Yang in our lives we have waves of emotion and conflicting forces at work, which tire us out and knot our mussels and give us headaches. Sometimes it has us snapping at our children and growling at our partners and in my case muttering choice words under my breath.



Where is the relief?
Well today I had a massage... and that's a good start......., but not the answer.

However my massage therapist did remind me of something I know but was forgetting. Thanks Kath.

The answer lies somewhere in acceptance, compassion and forgiveness. You really can't change people, or prevent them from making mistakes in their life, you can't save them or protect them. They will make mistakes, and then they will probably make them again and again..... and again. As will you.  It is human nature. This is what we do and how we learn, grow and evolve. People are people, and just as a dog barks because that what dogs do, people will do what people do. We are not perfect. We are who we are.

There is wonderful freedom to be found when you give yourself a little acceptance, compassion and forgiveness.

Davia

28 days to a SLIMMER FIGURE

I'm not selling anything, no secret formula, 
I'm just tellin' ya........


No....... the answer is not to eat plenty of grapes - although come to think of it that might help,
I have heard stranger things



Here's a quick update for those who are following my progress during the Alcohol free month.

You know what to do, But you don't do it!

It has now been 23 AFD's in a row. And it's not hard, like I thought it would be. In fact it has been EASY PEASY! I was just very attached to my routine that is all. But a new routine has quickly become possible.

I feared that dreaded word.... shh....dare I mention it?....alcoholism! There I said it. Did anybody hear me say it? Is it possible that someone like me could be such a thing as an alcoholic? What classifies as alcoholic anyway? Is it as simple as someone who drinks everyday or is it more to do with being able to say NO? Is it someone for whom alcohol is a "PROBLEM" ?

I speak to so many mothers just like me.
Just an ordinary person, I don't even like to get drunk anymore, that was something I did when I was reckless and carefree (and younger). Now I am a mother of 3, with serious obligations, it takes a special occasion for me to get pissed. Does this sound like anyone you know?

Alcohol certainly didn't seem to be a "problem" for me. I was fine! Still am! except for some unusual blood test results.

The thing is... there is always a special occasion.
You can find a special occasion everyday if you want to.

• You had a good day.
• You had a bad day.
• You are excited. 
• You are tired
• You have no friends.
• You are with too many friends yay.... LETS PARTe'!!!
• It was so hot and sunny and now you are all sticky.
• It rained all day.
• Your hair is crap.
• You got the job
• you didn't get the job
• blah, blah, blah.............. you get my drift. 

So being told to quit was quite possibly the best thing that could have happened to me.

Enforced sobriety has proved to be a good thing.
Thanks to the stern warnings of my doctor, I have now embarked on an alcohol free month. I was fearful that I would not be able to do it. It had become such an ingrained part of my life. Cooking dinner was the signal that the WORK day was over and I could put it behind me for the evening. I would then enjoy a little sip or two with dinner and another on the couch whilst watching TV just to make sure my mind was totally turned off.

Does any of this sound familiar?

The added benefit is : No moreTrouble getting to sleep
I have always been the sort of person who has trouble falling asleep. Normally after several drinks I can stay up reading till at least midnight most nights. I tend to fall asleep with the light still on and a book on my face, much to the annoyance of The MC. Don't know why he puts up with me really. Must be my cooking. But since quitting I am sleeping better than ever and actually wanting to go to bed earlier. Which is great because I so much more energy the next day.

The best part - WEIGHT LOSS
I have been the same weight for years and haven't been able to shift it. Despite eating a healthy diet (granted I could exercise a bit more, grrr.... hate it , hate it) I just stay the same. Doesn't really matter what I eat. However the thing that really seems to make the difference is quitting the booze. Ha ha....go figure! It's not a lot, but it definately SOME....... Ok it's a couple of Kgs.
I FEEL GREAT!

Thanks also go to my friends at Mishfit who have given up for the cause and completed FEBFAST. Lucky buggers sipping away on their Chardy and Merlot right now, while I still have a week to go before my next blood test which will tell me if I can ever partake of a drop again. :(      
bottoms up 
Well done guys. Cheers

Davia